FreeChocolate.com - Downloadable Chocolate

How reliable is the download?

The CHOCOMAT technology is still in a very early stage of development, and so is not 100% guaranteed to work. We have identified a number of possible problems, but as with any experimental technology there may be other unforseen reasons why the process may fail.

How does CHOCOMAT actually work?

Sorry, the details are being kept secret until the technology is perfected. Once the device is commercially available, information will be available from the patent office.

My chocolate did not appear. What do I do now?

There are a number of reasons why your chocolate may not be in the fridge when you check.

• Did someone else get there first and eat it?
• Were there any warning messages during transmission?
• Cellphone interference may case scaling errors, resulting in a very small - possibly microscopic - bar of chocolate. Check with a powerful magnifier or microscope.
• The Inverse GPS™ scan may 'lock on' to the wrong device, in which case the chocolate might appear somewhere unexpected. Check all nearby fridges, freezers and washing machines.
• Try switching the fridge off and then on again.

If all else fails, you can always retry the download.

What is Inverse GPS™?

Inverse GPS™ uses technology developed for satellite imaging, street mapping, Wi-Fi, global positioning, and the so-called Internet of Things, to determine the spatial coordinates of the nearest suitable download destination.

The scratch'n'sniff panel doesn't work!

This experimental panel works best on OLED (Odor and Light Emitting Device) screens, although we have tried to make it compatible with any display. Use very light mouse/finger pressure, and never scratch the screen with anything harder than your fingertip. Depending on the display, the smell may come from the screen itself, or the mouse, or possibly the keyboard. Sniff everything!

Can I sell my downloaded chocolate?

Most people eat their chocolate immediately after download, when it is freshest and tastiest! However any chocolate you download is yours to do with as you please.

Is it safe?

We have not heard of anyone being hurt or injured as a result of downloading chocolate. However scaling errors caused by cellphone interference could cause an oversized mass of chocolate, possibly up to 27m³, to appear in your fridge. If this occurs, the fridge contents will be under extremely high pressure! You should check for chocolate oozing out past the door seals before carefully opening the fridge using a long rope or a broom handle.
 
By using this download facility you indicate that you understand its experimental nature, and accept any risks involved. We regret that we cannot be held liable for illness caused by over-indulgence, or damage caused by chocolate materialisation in unanticipated locations or quantities.

Is this for real?

Technology is advancing at an ever-increasing pace, and what is taken for granted today may have seemed impossible a few years ago. The writer Arthur C Clarke wrote: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Has our technology advanced enough to make the CHOCOMAT possible?